so theres a small gym in my building at work. got to work early this morning and actually worked out for a good 45 minutes or so. it feels good to be doing something for my body..even though i have my issues with it. i guess ill have to see what i feel like tonight and in the morning to gauge how good of a workout it was. i abhor cardio, but spent a good 20+ minutes on the treadmill (ha!).
saturday we had our first ministry leadership meeting. it went really well. i came out of it encouraged. this is going to be good... very very good. my s/o and i showed pastor my letter for hormone therapy and mentioned going to florida for top surgery in february and possibly with another gentleman that ive come to know on "the playground" (my affectionate nickname for Laura's Playground Site). from there-much like ive done here-we had to explain about the site and how i am a moderator on the forums there. we also mentioned the blog and the youtube vlog and he kinda stopped and asked when i was going to florida again? he then mentioned that that might be the time for me step into my calling. while there we kinda glossed over it a bit, but that moment stuck with me. a lot of whats holding me back is my physical and mental discomfort from the dysphoria. it is, in a way, blocking me from seeing where im going. but i am doing all i can right now to deal with it and get past it so i can step into my calling.. STOMP into it even. when i got to a computer that evening it was all kind of confirmed in my head as there was a new Transgender Spirituality forum up at the playground. im definitely where i need to be, right now.
im on countdown. i get my first shot on thursday and im stoked! but trying not to get myself too worked up. i dont know how long it will take before i notice a change. really all im counting on is at least feeling better in the first week or so. less unstable and moody. if thats all i get, itll be enough. ..for a little while at least. im ready to hear my voice drop, but i can wait for that if only i can stay in a positive mood for longer than a few hours at a time.
haha.. i should be working.
later.
Ray
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Having been trapped inside for so long, a little guy is finally being, finally becoming.. himself. A constant work in progress. With the body of a grown man a little boy that never got to be seen as one is finally getting loosed.
1 comment:
Dude...my abs are rocked from my workout yesterday. It seems like maybe I need to tone it down.
Glad you are getting to the gym. Feels sooooooo good!!
Post a Comment