shot 3 - ready for the change?

impatient. that is what its called. that is what i am. i used to be able to sit through more, listen longer, deal better... well.. i dont deal poorly, just too quickly. im not sure how to learn that again..but i gotta figure it out or im going to piss more people off than i think i can afford. lol

i never got around to that shot 2 video. its all good, i dont think i look that different. but im sure i sound different.. lol or at least i do in my head. (sadly, ive always sounded different in my head.) we will see when we record..whenever thats gonna be.

me and the s/o - we're doin this diet thingy..im on 1400 calories, shes on 1200 calories - we workout 8 minutes in the morning and 60 minutes aerobic later in the day - and we can eat all the fruit and vegetables we want. so im on a quest to find out if the diet is why im hungry every hour on the hour, or if its the T. all the guys that responded say its the T. ill take that. Tee says she doesnt mind if i dont do the diet with her. thats nice of her..but shes the one who feeds me. so even if i werent doing the diet, id still kinda be doing the diet by default - i figure..why not right? ill just supplement with a burger every now and then...lol. im gonna try to hold out though and see what happens.. i actually think ive already lost 3 lbs. so this might be a really good thing.

i was at TILTT last night and a lady asked me if i had my name changed yet. 'no.' so she and the other lady there ask me what im waiting on. very well aware of my procrastinating..i was able to fess up to it. but what am i waiting on? they call me Ray at work (even though im not out there yet .. waiting til ive been there for 3 months,) both my parents and sisters know, my spouse and kid knows.. what on Earth am i waiting for...? hrm... nothing now. ive pretty much done all the things i wanted to do before changing my name. well..coming out at work isnt done, but would anything there change with the name change, except maybe some paperwork - and itll take a month. ...i should go file. might as well eh? ill keep you up on how that goes. maybe next week sometime i can get to that. THAT would rawk...cause im totally Raymond. *big smile* just thinking about it makes me happy.

changes (if it aint changed it aint here - lol):
-waaay impatient
-waaaay hungry
-a little less expressive..but i think that goes hand-in-hand with the impatient
-sadly i still think im pmsing cause ive been craving random foods (mmm beef patty) - just that i havent been eating them cause of the diet. lol.
-i think there are changes in my face..but i also see it every day. and it might have something to do with the fact that i feel different and therefore feel different about myself and about my appearance. (does that make sense?) i feel like i can look confident in my appearance. (dont know if that was clearer, but... *shrug*) --> lol NOW do you see what i mean by "less expressive".. i dunno.
-i feel really "average guy"-like.. and i LOVE it. i feel..comfortable. and i havent felt that in quite a while.

overall im doing.. great. ...when im not starting fights with my girl or the kid.. LOL (i swear i dont do it on purpose..but it does keep happening. i gotta work on that.)

*smile*

Ray