its not that ive been doing particularly bad cause i havent..but ive been pretty moody as of late. and i hate being this way because i dont like that i cant be consistent.. or at least feel consistently. still way excited about starting my T shot in about a week, but even that doesnt "brighten" my day. grr arg.
so i find myself sitting around right now watching youtube videos about transition and related stuffs and playing spider solitaire. there are definitely more productive things that i could be doing. i have step work that i really dont need to be sitting on and research i can be doing for my ministry leadership meeting this weekend. *sigh* yet i sit..and i click.. and i watch and/or listen my night away. partially because if i get in bed i wont fall to sleep straight away and partially because im feeling pretty...down. hrm.. i wish i had a more.. entertaining word to use than "down" but sadly thats all im able to come up with. thats kinda sad.
yeah. i chatted with a guy friend of mine for a sec earlier today and when i told him i was down he immediately asked about when im supposed to start hrt. good question. made me feel like he gets it. hes a couple thousand miles away and he gets that my moods all screwy sometimes and some of those times (probably most) there really isnt much of anything to do about it but ride it out. like any and all feelings, itll pass of course.. but im kinda counting on not being so freakin moody after i start T. waitin on it.
Raymond
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