not so great feeling

i talked to my transdad on the phone last night. oh how i miss him. my Danny...
anyway he was giving me advice and stuff.. like a good pa. :) some good stuff..like to take lots of pictures. he says that its encouraging to see the changes that happen even in the first three months. its apparently hard to tell when things are changing..or to pinpoint the changes - but you can tell that things are different. he also mentions taking measurements. when i tell Tee this her response? yall are real serious about this working out and body changing thing arent you? uuh..yeah actually. we are. theres the whole thing about finally having the body on the outside that youve always imagined that you had in your head. its regrowing up all over again except the way we thought we would the first time but were sorely mistaken.

so ive been feeling crap the past couple days. i will be changing my shot schedule to once per week instead of once every two weeks. i dont want to post my dosage.. ive thought about this a lot. i know theyre available online in a myriad of places already. but i wouldnt dare provide that information to a young guy just starting out with black market meds trying to- in essence- "fix his own problem." i know sometimes its the "only way" and that we all "do what we have to do" but ... id rather not promote self-medicating. just my personal..ya know..? i am changing my dosing schedule, but i also spoke with my doctor about it this morning. [sorry..slightly random] i guess that goes with how i feel. im anxious, extra jumpy, finding it quite difficult to concentrate on one thing...give me about four and as long as i can bounce back and forth between them, im relatively ok..til i have to get up from my desk and just move around. a lot of this i feel is hormone imbalance (not enough testosterone in my system) coupled with the fact that i DID have a high level of testosterone very recently ...thus the still horny.

moral of the story? my advise? dont take your shots late. ill be making sure of this from now on. and man oh man.. i might have to get up with an online pharmacy. when i leave work today im dropping by the little 5 pharmacy and droppin a nice 145 for my bottle 'o T. its worth every penny in my book..and will last me 5 months.. but D***! at one time? lol. done aaaand done.

Ray