in preparation

constantly in preparation of the next greater thing..this is what "living life" is made of...

theres a lot to carry cause my life is so full today. i feel really really good. very..close to the Spirit. preparing to preach my first public sermon nov 16. nervous, excited.. in constant prayer.

received an email that was sent out to all of IT and the VP to which our department reports, just a few moments ago. im employee of the month for October...sweet.

i have now been on testosterone for 12 weeks, as i took shot #12 friday morning. i was apparently moving too fast for myself and tried to use the needles backwards (draw-up with 23-gauge, inject with 18-gauge).. its funny today...not-so-much at the time. waste of a needle, kinda bloody situation.. i should definitely get moving around really good in the morning before my shot. *looks around nervously*

changes:
-i love my voice. check the vids on youtube (user: raydubiii). it keeps changing and can sound rather high if i get excited or in-a-rush, but i dont mind cause when im just chill its deep
-apparently my face is shaped differently..i wouldntve notice..but my guy Evan said something about it (thanks dude).
-my chest hair is now totally brown and coming in surprisingly even
-noticed a few chin hairs; my soul patch hasnt grown any..just sits there at the "sprouting" stage
-my mustache comes in really slowly, but very evenly - due to work i wont let it come all the way in, but because it is even..it hurts my feelings more to shave it off...
-my libido is way totally manageable.. watch the doc like up the dose and i have to go through it all over again (i wouldnt complain..after a while Tee might..lol *wink*)
-my muscles are changing shape. i had a lot of muscle pre-T so i dont know if im gaining more, but i do notice that the shape is different.

there was an NA convention this weekend W.E.A.N.A. that i had the pleasure of attending. it was GREAT. i hardly had any qualms about correcting people either. and letting them know that they will get it in-time. being encouraging about it helps whoever it is im correcting - addicts can be very sensitive people..on the flip side they can also be very insensitive. there was one gentleman i even had to pretty much chomp-off. he got the point and fixed himself up...then he texted me and wanted to act brand new. i told him to respect me and not address me as a woman - to which he tripped out in his reply...i responded "glad to know where you stand. please dont contact me again." silence. ...nice. i like people who can follow directions. ...i know that situation sounds a bit harsh..but his motives werent even in the right place. i try to give addicts the benefit of the doubt generally because "some are sicker than others" but he wasnt asking me for my help.

gotta take some photos before friday and do a vid i suppose. people are subscribing and thats really cool. kinda wish i had something to talk about with them though.. i dont think im that exciting of a guy...but im not hard to look at. ;)

Ray