the sermon, the circumstance

sunday was absolutely amazing. or at least it felt that way. the whole service/program was wonderful. things didnt go exactly according to plan, but i dont think anyone hardly noticed. i cant say from my own perspective how i did while preaching, but from the response i got.. i did pretty awesome. i got a compliment on my teaching ability as well as the comment "i didnt know you had it in you" from someone i expected to receive no comment at all. my sister, her husband and son, my mother and her wife, my father and his sister.. all showed up in support of me. amazingness. also a friend of my wife and a couple of my own friends showed, along with my sponsor - sitting on the first row just as s/he said s/he would. it felt really good to be up there. AND after the candle-lighting portion of the program i almost cried. and it didnt bother me.. h-ll i havent cried in over 3 months. ok.. so the tear didnt actually fall from my eye, but thats the closest ive gotten in a while.
theres a video of the homily, taken with our digital camera. its about 15 minutes long though, so ill have to cut it up if i want to post any of it - which im still debating about. i havent even watched it. i dont really think i want to yet.. im sure i will at some point though. for those wondering the title was One, In The Body. my Pastor afterward talked about how proud he was of me.. and about how badly he wanted the manuscript. he's Pastor..he can have a copy. *big smile*
i think it drove home the idea to my family about my trans-identity - which ROCKS... and my sister even talked to me about the message i delivered later.. well.. we texted. but it was good. i like talking to my big sister. ...and i just know the eldest sister wouldve been there too had she been in town. Tee was BEAMING the entire time.. and the response from the people was just great. my mom told me that im going to be a main speaker one day (at an NA convention).. come to think of it, her wife told me the same thing. and of course she almost cried afterwards she was so proud. she still has problems getting my name right.. she'll get it.. im not too worried.
i saw my nephew. that made me feel good. we really do look a lot alike.. i do wonder how that is changing though now that im looking more male. i think he knows i look different, but he treated me the same he always does. hes always been shy around me.. i dont see him nearly as often as i should. but i love his little self soo much. i mean this is the kid that my sister would look at and randomly call me and say 'he really could pass for your child - he looks more like you than me' ..lol.

ok so have you ever heard of saladmaster? its a glorious and wonderful thing. you know how theres always this one thing that your girl wants but you never think youre going to be able to get it for her? well i got it. and it might sound like a partially selfish gift cause straight up its a dope-a-s set of pot/pans.. but its not just an ordinary $400 set.. its like the superduper set-of-all-sets. the ultimate anniversay/christmas gift.. and it will (in the end) cost me about as much too.. lol. an investment in the health of my family.. or at least what ill tell myself when it gets here. h-ll i eat whatever she cooks me.. but itll be way cool for it to taste even BETTER than it already does on the good cookware. *big smile*.. im such a woos (sp?) lol..

Ray