ive got a ton to be grateful for. a year ago i was probably still fighting with a shady apartment complex about not having electricity and trying to get the money i paid them back... this year im renting a house near grant park (downtown atl) - its fully furnished, comfortable, and ive got my son back (Chill - the dog).. im the most comfortable ive ever felt in my life on any given day, and i havent found it necessary to use drugs or alcohol for well over 2 years.. haha.. yeah.. ive got quite a lot to be grateful for.
this doesnt make the feeling of impending doom surrounding seeing so much family in one room at one time tomorrow any better.. but hey.. at least ill be able to be present. and at least ill feel good knowing im me. i cant be too worried about how theyll feel. in theory they love me anyway. or at least thats the current general concensus. i just dont want there to be any kind of scene at Thanksgiving dinner ya know? who is to say there will or will not be.. all ive got to do is show up.. vanilla ice cream and case of water in hand.. and stick it out til after the secret-santa-name-drawing. lol....
then its off to my in-laws' house for the same feelings all over again.. except i feel like the people there dont have to love me anyway. i guess its good that Tee invited church family to join us.. that way i can be a little less awkward and therell be more people calling me Ray incase Tee's mom just-so-happens to forget who i am. no..she doesnt know.. as far as my knowledge goes. when she'll find out? /shrug. we shall see.
...geez i want my name changed...
4 day weekend! w00t!
Ray
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