a 13-year-old boy

i am a pubescent boy trapped in the body of a twenty-six year old and it sucks. ok, not really. its just really uncomfortable sometimes. i have yet to figure out what little boys who dont know what to do about sex-drive-feelings do with themselves. i can only begin to imagine what the young guy who hasnt been explained what sex IS thinks during this time. thus the plight of the misinformed youth... talk about a random bit of insight i wasnt expecting.

ok.. i heard an older guy say it and i didnt exactly know what he meant at the time, but im starting to get an idea. he told me that on T, you can never really know what to expect your mind to be thinking. that you might fantasize about stuff you never thought you would. well.. i dont know if i never thought id be fantasizing about some of these things.. truth be told ive had some pretty wild fantasies and dreams in my day... but.. *sigh* yeah. and they arent disturbing so much as.. i knew they would come. lets just say i pretty much know what all i am and have been attracted to over the years. ive even tried quite a few activities.. granted i may have been loaded for the majority of them. so i really shouldnt be surprised when certain thoughts come to mind, and im not. ..it just makes me worry a little. the older guy? he says that everything might change. your sexuality may change, your fetishes may change, all of it. as broad as my "likes" are now.. i wonder how different they might become..

shot 7 went off pretty well. the aspirating the needle is weird and makes me nervous since injecting air into your body doesnt sound really seem like an ok to thing to do. but it is air that came OUT of my body...so that should make it ok... *sigh* whatever. the site was sore for about a day.. but nothing like last time. i used my right hand of course.

so we've gone and done it. we've launched the ministry. i just know its going to be a wonderful thing. i dont know what to say about it though, so ill let the website speak for itself. http://www.theshepherdstablechurch.org. ...sweet. (peter griffin style)

so i signed up on the ftmMentors site and THAT is pretty cool. i think a lot of people will be helped if they can keep that site going.

dude! SCC is like.. this week! And i got the time off of work so i get to hang with my tfolk ALL weekend long..starting thursday. thats gonna rock. plus my friend A is coming up from Florida to play.. lol ok, ok hes really coming for the conference, but STILL... we're totally gonna play. hes gonna bring his Wii. im stoked. a bit nervous..but mostly just stoked. oh.. SCC is Southern Comfort Conference a transgender conference held in Atlanta yearly http://www.sccatl.org/..and i got a scholarship to go.. loooong story on why i cant afford it. but im going and thats all that matters. and im WAY excited.

i guess thats really everything thats going on. went fishing for the first time life on Saturday. i liked it a lot more than i thought i would. and im pretty good at it...casting that is. dont know how someone is good at fishing.. i guess if the fish dont get away often... im sorry.. now im just rambling.

i really should get to the gym. laters!

Ray