thanks folks for your comments on my blog. i really appreciate them - all of them. i would like to address some of them here.
did i send a mass text about my ministry?
.no i did not. the first worship encounter at our new church was not advertised in mass in that manner. plus, i would only send out text messages about my ministry to people who i felt would show interest in attending. and in case youre wondering.. my immediate family knows about me helping out to start the ministry. i have even invited a few of them to attend.
did i send out a mass text about moving?
.no i did not. my address has not yet changed and my phone number is not changing so i didnt feel this was necessary. my immediate family again, is aware of my move.
the person asking these questions however asked them in an attempt to undermine my mass text message about my transition. well...1? it was national coming out day. that's what people do on that day. they "Come Out" - thats was the purpose of my text message. 2? my place of residence and where i minister/worship have less bearing on someone knowing me as a person. who they know me as and how they relate to me however matter very much when it comes to me asserting my identity - transitioning. --but..anonymous1 - if you dont get it after this then you may not at all...such is life.
me becomming an -sshole...
i am very well aware of my ability to be an -sshole. honestly, ive always been that way..just about different things. maybe not to my family but ask any of my friends, or any who has ever been on my bad side. does it really make me an -sshole because i dont want to spoon-feed the people in my life that barely interact with me? am i an -sshole because i take pride in who i am and want people to respect me? sheesh..if thats being an -sshole then i guess i can stop feeling so bad about being one...
*smile*
lovely. i love comments.
by the way...since i have been having a hard time expressing my emotionality in a proper way, id like to say that the comments i received didnt upset me at all. i really do appreciate people taking the time to leave them. i love the support i have received..i even love the little bit of contention for the way i handle things (gives me another perspective), so thanks again folks. i just dont want you to think im upset about it cause im not. kinda amused actually.
starbuck - thanks for the support dude.. WHEN are you coming back to atl, hrm? lol and no pre-T freakouts dude.. youre going to be fine..and your going to feel GREAT. esp post-op. lol
anonymous2 - youre right. i shouldnt disconnect from the people who love me but if they are not able to respect me at the same time then i will have to do what i have to do. of course i will give everyone time.. i will give my grandparents longer than i give anyone - since they might not be here in ten years to "make up" ya know? but there are some things that cannot be compromised..like your sense of self. i send out love and prayers now and will continue to do so. thank you for the advice.
sweetness...
Raymond III
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4 comments:
This is anonymous 1. It's good to hear your family knows about the other things that are going on in your life. I feel where you worship and where you live are important you obviously do to if you are working to build a new ministry.
The text just really was a bit too impersonal for an announcment of this calliber in MY opinion (something in which I am entitled and realize you don't feel the same way). I feel the method should have been more personal. This is the easy part of this process and you are already taking short cuts. Would you like to find out a close freind is pregnant or has a seroius illness through a text? Probably not, More than likely I feel individuals would probably like to hear it from the person. But you are combative and I am sure you will say you don't care how you get information and your feelings are yours. By the way, I didn't ask you these questions to undermine your text.
It's actually nice to hear that you take pride in being an asshole it explains a lot. You don't have to be an ass to gain respect and that applies no matter who you are male, female, transgender etc.
You told the other person that you will give your grandparents a longer period of time which doesn't make sense. Tomorrow isn't promised to you, me or anyone. And to be frank, you injecting yourself with T shots weekly is dangerous and surgery is as well and whose to say your life will be spared. Get ok with people while you can. (Hell going to work by car is dangerous.)It is important to make amends regardless of how old the people in your life are or how long you think they will be around.
Look, whether you realize it or not family is not chosen and it sounds like you care about yours so act like it. You are going to need support through this. Humans are not solitary animals. There are those of us that never had a family member that we knew let alone had a relationship with so...soapbox.... I am just suggesting that you show some compassion, respect and understanding for yours and don't banish anyone over night because they are not gung ho about you becoming a man. You may get some of that in return (understanding, compassion and respect). You have been a female for over a quarter of a century don't feel that in a few months things will be honky dorry. Your life is not going to simply start over. Do you think your family is just going to take all the female pictures of you down and replace them? Can they wash all the memories away of you when you were a woman? It ain't gonna happen. Your mom and dad will now have to say they have a son and for the past twenty five years they haven't. Even with your mom's support don't think its a cake walk. Your daughter will now have a dad that she hasn't had for the last seven years of her life. I know that you have said over and over that you can't worry about other people and its fine that you won't allow it to change your decision but there is so much that you will have to confront. You have just changed the obituary and life of everyone you are close to from your grandparents, parents, sibling etc. This is major. This isn't a breast reduction, a tosilectomy (u know what I mean...This is not something you can expect to just be fine right away. All I want to relay to you is to try and look at things through someone else's "glasses." I am done. This is my last post. Well wishes.
This really is a great novel. How are your siblings? You really have put them on blast. Are you all even on speaking terms? Do you still talk with your dad even though he hasn't given a yay or nay or it and it doesn't seem that he will.
Who are these anonymous people? Anonymous 1 wrote one LONG post. I'm still going to stick with my earlier assertion. You don't seem like an a-hole to me. However, it's possible that you might be the same brand of a-hole as I am, so that's why I think you are cool. ;)
Yeah, I'm going to have to get back up to the ATL soon. Right now I am tied down with ridiculous amounts of work. It's crazy. I'll message you later. I'll have to give you a call when/if I get a sec. When I get my shot, I'll DEFINITELY call you.
I love your comments man. Wow. It will always be the case that someone thinks you need to kiss everybody's ____ and tiptoe around before they think you are okay. All I've ever been able to figure out is that they like to keep a number of people in the populus "docile" so that they are easier to dictate to. But thats just me. My thing has always been (being an infamous asshole) those who are in my life are there by choice. None of them has been strongarmed they have and have always had the option to leave. They accept my personality. In the event that someone outside of us doesn't like it, tough. But I'm sure you know that already for your own life :) EJ
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