Bummed

..and not in that happy beach-bum-for-a-day kind of way but more like the.. man that sucks eggs kinda way. really i shouldnt let it get to me and just find a way to grind myself a better job but.. *sigh*
so Jack the therapist thinks that my feeling of "something missing" is that im under-employed. yes, i AM underemployed.. but i ALSO dont look like a guy and am mistaken for a "young lady" constantly ==> driving me INSANE. yadda yadda feel more comfortable writing a letter for someone who's stable in a career with stable health insurance yadda yadda. leaving me? where ive been for the past year - looking for a job in my field. right.
im hardly able to look past that at the moment. and something about pulling up bootstraps? i dunno.. but i shouldnt be bummed apparently. and i shouldntve spent 10 or so years of my life chasing a high either but it happened. ha! i just realised how incredibly bitter i am. ew.. i gotta get rid of that. *thinking* candy.. yes.. i'll have some candy. then i'll start on my church class homework.
sorry im not wound too tight today. maybe next time eh?

Ray