surgery 11/11

in about an hour my mom will come get me and take me to the hospital for surgery. all i can think about right now is how hungry i am and all the different foods i currently have a taste for. truth be told im only writing a blog because T suggested that i do. not really sure that i have too much to say.
im nervous about having surgery but excited at the prospect of this making the pain ive been in for the past few months go away. i completed a Living Will and Power of Attorney yesterday. that always leaves you with a weird sensation. i love the fact that my mom was all, T is your power of attorney, right? more of a telling than an asking. thats a good sign.
when i had found out my surgery date (last week) i wrote an email to my family - mom, dad, 2 sisters. up until yesterday afternoon i had only heard anything back from my mom and the middle sister. i tried not to take this personally but i admit, it bothered me. last night however, the doorbell rings and its my dad; standing as close to the screen door as possible in an effort to stay out of the rain hurricane Ian brought to Georgia. when he came in he said, i got your email.a little bitter i asked him when. lol its hard to not be that way with him sometimes. funny enough, and true to both our natures he got the email just the day before. *sigh* at least i wasnt too upset about not hearing from him.. we stood around and chatted for a while - his way of showing concern. i ranted like a 4 year old boy whose best friend had stopped by - my way of showing i was glad he came. i roasted marshmallows for T, him, and myself. i had already had a fire going. ah, the wonders of a fireplace. today - this afternoon - my eldest sister called me from a georgia number (unexpectedly) but clearly from another country. i was happy to hear from her. now that all immediately family have been accounted for.. i suppose we can proceed.
2 days after our anniversary i am having surgery. T has been really good about the whole situation though. i was actually hoping that we could do something extra special this year - since weve had such a rough go of anniversaries and birthdays in the past. guess ill just have to find some other way to make up for it...
i cant quite imagine how worried other people are about me having surgery. just in the past few years have i even been able to comprehend that other people really give a hoot about what happens to me... so its still hard to wrap my head around people asking me to have T call or text to let them know that im doing alright. either way its kinda cool to know that so many people are actually concerned about the possibility of never seeing me again. makes me feel like ive done something in the world. *smile*
im off.. prayers abound.. hopefully to return to blog about the experience soon.
love,
Raymond III