getting okay with liking guys

The title says it all. I hate that its been so long since Ive blogged and SO much has happened. Its been the same way with my vlogs on youtube. Yesterday I was answering back some comments and I mentioned that a lot had gone on in the past months. S inquired as to what some of them were...one of my responses was 'getting okay with liking guys' - which he ended up inquiring further about. When I emailed him back this what came out.. its totally blog worthy..lol.. and so I dont have to go typing it again later, here goes. lol:


Getting to be ok with liking guys. I think I mentioned it in one of my videos..Im not sure cause I dont watch them... about how Im attracted to guys. I went through this period of hardcore worrying about the possibility of me being gay. I had a complex about knowing that I liked guys and wanting to experience sex with a guy as a guy. It was pretty crazy...and seemed impossible to explore since I was in a monogamous relationship. Im sure the issue was perpetuated by my spouse at the time poking fun at me telling me that I was gay.. kinda playing on an insecurity of mine. Kinda shitty when you think about it really. Im at a place now where I am starting to be okay with the fact that I like guys. It doesnt necessarily make me gay because I am still attracted to women - and whether it does or doesnt make me gay is much less of a concern for me than it was even just a couple months ago. Its strange how often we have to make the choice to embrace ourselves.

There's more that can be said for all of that..but right now? The eve of a 6 hour drive to North Carolina at 11:38 pm? Not the time... I will commit to writing a bit more though. As now I have a bit more personal time on my hands.