post surgery *smile*

i am both alive and well - at home - not working - healing quite nicely - and actually getting around VERY well for a man who had major surgery 10 days ago. believe me, i was not THIS chipper even just a few days ago, but i am very well now.
hospital/surgery experience:
i had already done the pre-op thing at the hospital on the 9th where there was some confusion and such but people did not act particularly out-of-character. there was no staring or improper language - and even the avoidance of pronoun usage - which i noticed and appreciated. i was recognized as male the whole time during registration and such - even to the point where one lady was like, 'so where is *birthname*, I have to put the wristband on her' -- i was like.. 'oh, yeah, that's me.' she didnt even flinch she goes 'oh, ok. right arm please?' *smile*
day of surgery a friend of mine's spouse was there when i got off the elevator. his surgery was the one before my own. she says 'K wants to see you' - i give my mom my stuff and go back to see him. he'd been pretty nervous about the whole thing but since he ended up having it before me he would always brief me on everything that happened. i guess i had it good that way. i always knew what theyd ask and half of the instructions before i got them. and of course it took a bit of the edge off. when i came out of K's pre-surgery room i told the nurse that i wasnt sure which way to go. she looked at me and said, 'oh ok. are you my next patient?' i guess i had a bit of a startled look on my face -- now that i think about it.. i WAS wearing two hospital bracelets -- so she asked me my name. 'uuh, walker' she smiled and asked 'Ray Walker?' i smiled back and said 'yes!' she introduced herself, told me i was her next patient, and told me i could just stay back there if i wanted. i hadnt checked-in yet, and id left my mom at the front desk, so she took me back to the front desk where i was addressed the entire time as 'Mr. Walker.' it was pretty awesome. the ladies were absolutely wonderful and nicer than ive ever experience hospital personnel. my mom loved my nurse and wrote her a positive review before i had even gotten my first dose of "Relax Now" meds. i say first dose because there was an emergency surgery that came in for our doctor (Dr. Dott) between K and myself - so i ended up having two doses. Im glad T got there before the meds started. the first dose wasnt all that bad, but i had started to get a little sleepy. the second dose had me falling asleep and waking up.. or at least that's the part i remember. the meds and then anesthesia is NO JOKE.. i dont remember my nurse's name despite how INCREDIBLE she was. and all i remember between being wheeled away from my mom and T and 'Recovery' is moving from my stretcher to the operating table and being given oxygen, then nothing.
when i "woke up" i wasnt really quite awake. someone was calling my name and i heard someone else tell me that K was calling me. he was leaving recovery when i was arriving. i managed to focus my eyes a little though i remember thinking it looked a lot like what it used to look like after i had been drinking all night but instead of sleeping would stay up and play games with my friends from undergrad (yes.. long long ago - lol) or 'walk' (stumbling mostly) to Chanos for cheese fries LoL. i digress... i then went back to 'sleep' and awoke to my mom, T, and R (an Elder from my church - who had been there the entire time... he's SO sweet). not sure if i talked to them or not, but i went back to 'sleep' and was next awakened to see Dr. Dott. he told me the surgery went great. i remember asking him 'did you get it all?' to which he answered 'of course!' he shook my had and i went back to 'sleep.' i awakened again to see my other mom (G) and then was allowed to 'sleep' until it was time to go to a room. i remember this trip because i was very cold until i got into my room where i had to assist in moving into my bed, was given my morphine pump, then allowed to get a bit of rest.
i dont remember a whole lot about that night. i had visitors and remember them being there and reminding me to press the button, but dont remember much of the conversation. K seemed to be doing much better than i was with the anesthesia and pain meds and came over to see me a few times before i was ever able to go see him. peeing after the surgery was NOT fun. THIS pain lasted for a few days. actually even today, if i wait a long time to go, i will have some pain urinating - cant forget to tell the doc this when i go back Tuesday. i had heard horror stories about people waking up from the anesthesia vomiting and was happy that this wasnt my experience...until i took my first trip to K's room on the other side of the nurse's station. (or was it the second trip.../shrug) yeah.. despite my nausea, i had drank some apple juice before the trip. on the way back? ..yeah.. water and apple juice mostly in the little pail i had been given when i started to look sick, and on the floor. T and i stood there and waited for assistance. i was really hoping to get back to my room.. nope.
i was able to eat a little food the next day (thursday) and was taken off of the pump (thank GOD.. i had started to itch and i was NOT ok with that...not to mention i was crazy nauseated). that evening i went home. i spent the next few days trying to figure out how many percosets to take without feeling like a junky and without hurting so bad. even trying to include some ibuprofen since i didnt really want to take the percs anyway. it was stupid. by sunday night it was like.. screw it.. take 2 percs every four hours.. about a day and a half later... NOT a great idea. i was OUT of it and SO nauseous (did i mention constipated also?) i could hardly eat and wanted to cry. medicine management (even with assistance?) FAIL. emailed the doctor about all of it and ended up going to see him on Wednesday. changed from percosets to vicodin in case of severe pain, but instructed to just take tylenol. i can do that. since then ive been feeling pretty good. i was even able to eat on wednesday (after stopping taking meds at all early tuesday morning). my first meal? A beef 'n cheddar and few curly fries from Arby's .. it was DELICIOUS! lol
since wednesday ive been pretty good. the pain that i have is either from having done too much or gas. ive still got a bit of gas going on. i dont think ive ever been so happy to be able to take a normal pooh lol.. [TMI? ...get over it. lol]

other stuff (for lack of a more creative name):
yesterday was TDOR (transgender day of remembrance). regretfully in the AM however i first attended the Memorial service for for the wife of a gentleman in my community. i just hate that there had to be one, but i am glad that i went. in the PM i attended the TDOR program and vigil at the capital (and at the church across the street from the capital). it was different this year because we were inside for the speakers. i think it was a nice change...even though it was warmer this year than last (lol). i loved the amount of people that were there and the caliber of people who showed up. a senator here, a mayoral candidate there, a few elected officials, many people running for other offices, a host of pastors and ministers of local congregations, many community members, allies, friends.. i love it! EVERYONE should be there. my pastor said a few words - i think he did well. lol he probably didnt call me up there because i wasnt particularly moving around all that well by then. truth be told, i wasnt moving all that well after the memorial service, but i was feeling just fine.
today after all that activity yesterday, I am HAPPY to be at home. and i.. after this horrendously long post.. am going to go lay down. i wrote this in the office on a regular-sized keyboard instead of on the laptop.. and now i just wish i were in bed.. lol.
ok.. later!
feel free to ask specific questions.. im SURE ive left out a TON of stuff about the event.. or at least the kind of stuff people may want to know. ;)
just glad its over...
*smile*

Raymond

surgery 11/11

in about an hour my mom will come get me and take me to the hospital for surgery. all i can think about right now is how hungry i am and all the different foods i currently have a taste for. truth be told im only writing a blog because T suggested that i do. not really sure that i have too much to say.
im nervous about having surgery but excited at the prospect of this making the pain ive been in for the past few months go away. i completed a Living Will and Power of Attorney yesterday. that always leaves you with a weird sensation. i love the fact that my mom was all, T is your power of attorney, right? more of a telling than an asking. thats a good sign.
when i had found out my surgery date (last week) i wrote an email to my family - mom, dad, 2 sisters. up until yesterday afternoon i had only heard anything back from my mom and the middle sister. i tried not to take this personally but i admit, it bothered me. last night however, the doorbell rings and its my dad; standing as close to the screen door as possible in an effort to stay out of the rain hurricane Ian brought to Georgia. when he came in he said, i got your email.a little bitter i asked him when. lol its hard to not be that way with him sometimes. funny enough, and true to both our natures he got the email just the day before. *sigh* at least i wasnt too upset about not hearing from him.. we stood around and chatted for a while - his way of showing concern. i ranted like a 4 year old boy whose best friend had stopped by - my way of showing i was glad he came. i roasted marshmallows for T, him, and myself. i had already had a fire going. ah, the wonders of a fireplace. today - this afternoon - my eldest sister called me from a georgia number (unexpectedly) but clearly from another country. i was happy to hear from her. now that all immediately family have been accounted for.. i suppose we can proceed.
2 days after our anniversary i am having surgery. T has been really good about the whole situation though. i was actually hoping that we could do something extra special this year - since weve had such a rough go of anniversaries and birthdays in the past. guess ill just have to find some other way to make up for it...
i cant quite imagine how worried other people are about me having surgery. just in the past few years have i even been able to comprehend that other people really give a hoot about what happens to me... so its still hard to wrap my head around people asking me to have T call or text to let them know that im doing alright. either way its kinda cool to know that so many people are actually concerned about the possibility of never seeing me again. makes me feel like ive done something in the world. *smile*
im off.. prayers abound.. hopefully to return to blog about the experience soon.
love,
Raymond III